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The Secret A thin keening wail split the hot afternoon calm. "Adoni, my brother. . ." the voice lapsed into garbled weeping. Robes rustled against the hard stone floor. "M-" My lips parted as the last bit of air rattled from my lungs. My heart quivered one last time then stopped. Darkness slid over me like a veil. So this was death. Strange—I should fear but I didn't, I felt only curiosity. I waited. Slowly, I slipped from my corpse like a whisper and hovered for a moment watching my two sisters weeping bitterly over my body. I wanted to comfort them, tell them not to cry but I could only watch. Then a brilliant light drew me away and the wails of my sisters faded. Joy and hope and peace so overwhelmed me as I was drawn into the light, I realized I'd never really known these things until now. Light enveloped me, bathed me, swept me toward the source of the Light and I knew all I ever wanted, hoped for, desired was in that Light. All my being focused on the light and I could think of nothing else. Faster and faster I sped through the corridor until all else faded except the Light. Suddenly my feet stuck something hard and my eyes flew open. I was standing in a great meadow surrounded by tall, stately trees, like none I'd ever seen before. The bark, smooth like fine linen, glistened white over trunks and branches that spread upward, crowned with silver and gold leaves shimmering in the light. The air resonated with music of a different kind, more feeling than sound; the breeze dancing on the fine blades of grass and yellow and purple flowers petals, all in harmony, orchestrated by an unseen maestro. From the edge of the meadow, a huge, amber lion with a golden, flowing mane and paws the size of a man's face, came strolling toward me. Despite his fearsome appearance there was nothing threatening in neither his eyes nor his stride. Perhaps it the little lamb that bounced along his side, playfully butting him put me at ease. Though I'd never seen such a sight, it seemed a natural thing in this place. Suddenly, a voice, deep and throaty, resounded through the meadow and they both turned bounded off toward the caller. Curious about the voice and anxious to meet being who called, I took off after them. I reached the edge of the meadow and plunged through the bushes and vines flanking the trees. I squeezed between trees, and crashed through thick brush until I finally burst through only to find myself into a larger meadow. There was no sign of the lion or the lamb. I went to the right and rounded a stand of aspens but before I could stop myself, I collided with a man. "Lazarus?" he asked with a broad smile. "Welcome!" "You know my name?" "Of course! Jehovah told me you were coming. Oh, don't look so shocked. You are expected and I shall be your companion for a while. Oh, yes, I'm Moses." He thrust out his hand to take mine. "Moses!" I cried, sinking to my knees. His face clouded as he seized my arm and pulled me back to my feet. "You mustn't do that here. No one kneels before anyone but Jehovah. I am a man like your self. You must understand that." "But you are Moses! You are the Law giver-" "God is the Law giver. I am a man and that is all. We are all sinners, all deserve to God's judgment. I don't deserve to be here." I stared at him and trembled. If he didn't deserve to be here then what was I doing here? "I don't understand. If you—why am I—it's all too confusing." Moses put his arm around my shoulder and we began to walk. "Lazarus, the Law was not given to redeem mankind but to show mankind how sinful we are. Like a giant mirror, the Law revealed the sinfulness of man and how we could never measure up to God's standard. The Law amplified sin until the time would come for a greater salvation to be revealed. Without salvation, no man will ever see God. A great heaviness fell upon me and my heart felt faint. "Then I am not able to stay here. I shall never see God." "But you have seen God!" cried Moses, grabbing my arm. "You have seen the salvation of the Lord!" "What? But when—where? I don't understand." Confusion filled my mind. "You have entertained Him many times in your home. Both He and His companions." "In my home . . ." My voice trailed off as I though of the Nazarene. He was a great man of God. But God Himself? "Jesus?" My mind reeled. I glanced down and noticed for the first time the little lamb curled up at Moses' feet. "The Baptist called Him the Lamb of God," I murmured. Words, images, then understanding suddenly cleared the fog and I looked up at Moses' face. "I thought he meant to go to Jerusalem to sacrifice but He meant to go to Jerusalem to be a sacrifice. He will take away the sin of the world by his own blood?" Moses' face radiated. "It has always been God's plan from the beginning," he said as we resumed our stroll. "He said it first to Eve so long ago in the Garden when she and Adam took that fruit and started all this mess." As we walked, Moses explained all the prophecies and promises concerning the Messiah in the scriptures. Though we walked and talked for what seemed like hours, the light remained constant and the shadows never lengthened. We came upon an emerald lake and sat down for a while. Regal, snow-capped peaks reflected in it's mirror like surface and a river laughed its way down the slopes to the lake. We sat in silence for a long while, content to just be in the quiet of this place. Finally Moses spoke. "You must go back, Lazarus," he said, with a hint of sorrow. "Go back!" I cried in horror and disbelief. "But why? I belong HERE now. This is my home. I can't go back. I would die!" Moses looked away to the snow-capped peaks and was silent for a long moment. At last he spoke. "You must for Jesus' sake." Seeing I still didn't understand, he continued. "Here, where time has no hold on us, all things have already been accomplished. But on earth, where time still rules, much is still to be done. Where you were taken ill, Jesus was informed but didn't come immediately and restore you. True?" I recalled the days before my death and the agony of my two sisters. They had sent word to Jesus of my illness and waited patiently for him to come and heal me. But he never came. "I'm sure He didn't realize how sick I was." But even as I spoke, I knew that wasn't true. Not if He was God. "I'm sure he had a purpose for not coming." "Yes and that purpose must now be fulfilled. Even now he is nearing the city where your body lies in the tomb." The hair on my neck bristled. "He means to raise me up? From the grave?" Moses nodded. "But to leave here would mean my life would never be the same. Moses, this is my home now," I moaned, clutching his robe and burying my head in his shoulder. Faintly I heard the grating of rock upon rock as the stone from my tomb rolled back. Moses took my hands from his robe and gently pushed me back. "Moses, please," I begged. Suddenly shame stripped me bare as I thought of the great sacrifice He was soon to make for me. But first He wanted to demonstrate on me power that was to soon raise Him from the dead. He wanted to show His authority over the grave by raising me. So all would believe when He was raised. I didn't belong here, not yet, anyway. I had to go back. I rose and looked into Moses' eyes. "He's calling me," I whispered. "I must go." Moses nodded and smiled. "This is your true home. The next time you come it will be forever." His face grew fuzzy and began to fade in a mist. Something tugged at me and Paradise vanished in a blinding flash of light. Chill, damp, musty air enveloped me as I hovered above my body laying the stiff and cold on the stone slab below. "Lazarus!" The voice cut through the stale air like a scythe and with a rush like a wind, I was sucked into the corpse. "Come forth!" the voice thundered. I opened my eyes but the cloth covering my face blinded me. Moving first my fingers, then my hand, I worked the stiffness out of them. Reaching up, I snatched the square of linen from my face. The light from the mouth of the tomb stung my eyes. Slowly the silhouette of Jesus, straight and tall, filled the opening of the tomb. His arms stretched out toward me. I flung my legs over the edge of the stone and stood up. Black dizziness nearly forced me back down but I steadied myself until it passed. Pulling the strips from around my legs, I stumbled toward Jesus. The beloved face of my Master, cheeks wet with tears, welcomed me. "Jesus!" I cried, throwing myself into his open arms. "Lazarus, my friend," he said pulling me toward the opening. As I stepped out into the open air a great shout went up from the waiting crowd. Martha and Mary ran towards me, tears streaming down their faces. "Unbind him," Jesus sat. They pulled the burial strips from my limbs, crying and laughing and hugging and kissing me all at once. They soon set me free and we walked down the hillside away from the tomb. At the bottom of the hill, I turned and looked once more at Jesus. Something stirred inside of me, vague and faint, like a whisper. As His eyes met mine, He smiled triumphantly. Behold, the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world. The Baptist was right. I turned and continued my journey home. Home? . . . I wondered. Something was different about the meaning of home. But I just couldn't seem to remember.
Appeared in the March/April 2005 issue of Parables Magazine
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